You’re certain to be the center of attraction… when you step out in an Olds.
For owning an Olds sets you apart as someone special. And naturally so.
Wow, look at that fabulous 1957 Oldsmobile Golden Rocket 88 Holiday Coupé! Cars don’t come in that size any more. Or that color, which is too bad. A Prius or a Smart might only be the size of this car’s hood, but they’d still look awesome in this shade of mint sherbet green. Enjoy the sculptured lines of this car. The tasteful use of chrome. The beautiful floor-to-ceiling, wall-size windows of that Barbie Dream House. And look how happy the party-goers are!
Wait a minute.
What the hell are these people doing? Ms. Britches and I tried to piece it all together. The pretty blonde gal in the lilac dress? She just hit her knee, hard, against that giant, steel car door. But she’s so drunk as to think it’s funny (until that bruise shows up tomorrow). The two men in sportcoats are checking the time, desperate to get their wives home before they drink even more, because these women have to be in good enough shape to make a fresh, delicious pot of coffee in the morning, as well as eggs and bacon and toast. It just won’t do, to have the girls moaning and groaning with hangovers. And how about that amputee hunchback lurching toward the car? She’s… Um she’s… Well, we couldn’t decide what the hell she’s doing.
What do you think?