1. However many years ago, when I had all four impacted wisdom teeth surgically removed, I recovered just fine without the benefit of painkillers. For this one lousy tooth (and minor sinus reconstruction), I have been taking Vicodin on and off for nearly a week. And I’m still in pain. I am somewhat concerned, but have a follow-up appointment on Tuesday during which I’ll look pleadingly at the doctor and hope he tells me it’s all normal and I’m healing just fine.
2. As I described to someone today (and also twittered), it feels as though I have had a mouth replacement. This does not feel like my mouth. The teeth are all wrong. The sinus headache? That’s familiar. I was hoping that removing That Damn Tooth would make those go away. C’mon, healing! Let’s go!
3. (This one is my Special Story dedicated to Binky-comma-Imaginary) By describing one particular oral-surgery-related tale, I so grossed out a friend that the friend immediately THREW UP. In a public place. In front of people (who may or may not have been paying any attention). This is a person who I thought had no boundaries, who has never hesitated to tell me anything no matter how gross and/or personal, who has PEED while on the PHONE with me (much to my chagrin). I am mortified to have caused such deeply felt, stomach-churning ickyness. Luckily for me, said friend seems to find this incident amusing, and is now wearing it as a badge of… well, not courage.
Beat ’em beat ’em/Buck ’em buck ’em/Lay ’em down and/Really fight! Goooo, Unicorns!
shoes and pie 
You know the strange part about all of that puke-y goodness???
The people that I puked in front of actually worked at that Starbucks…
It didn’t even phase them! Sure… most of it hit the bushes near where I was sitting, but still… you heard it over the phone!
I know them well… and their indifferent reaction leads me to believe that they just assumed it was only a matter of time before I would vomit in their bushes…
Well fuck them!!!
I’m gonna poop in their bushes tomorrow morning!
That should surprise them! ;)
Oh… and for the record… just because I keistered those salt and pepper shakers, banana, and one dill pickle out of the Denny’s for you that one time, doesn’t mean I’m not above puking while imagining the unstitched flesh wound inside of your mouth.
PS… I didn’t know that you’re not allowed to pee while on the phone with your friend.
I assume this only applies to friends with “cookies” as the rest of us with dicks do it all of the time! You’ll have to excuse my breach of conduct as I didn’t receive the “2008 Guide to Friends with Cookies” even though I paid by credit card 3 months ago. And for the record… it would have been totally acceptable had we been playing by the 2007 rules.