Category Archives: life-threatening clutter

Pau Hana, Mi Pilialoha

I was having a birthday. So I planned a party.

The party itself wasn’t a huge undertaking, but my plan to finally, after seven years of talking about it, finally make my basement into a tiki bar/lounge in time for said party… that was a huge undertaking. A good number of people helped, in ways large and small. A greater number of people showed up to help me celebrate both the anniversary of my birth and the completion of Phase I of the Pau Hana Lounge.

Thanks to the general wonderfulness of my friends, I feel all warm and fuzzy.

Or maybe that’s the steam from the dishwasher. ;)

Hula Girl Cake

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Filed under collections, friends, life-threatening clutter, Thank you, vintage

Bear Family

Mom: Here, I brought this over. When you were little, I intended to make this for you, but I never did get around to it. (pulls craft book out of shopping bag, shows me Bear Family project within) Do you want this stuff? I still have all of the material. (rummages in bag, pulls out stack of felt)

Me: You’ve saved all this? From when I was a kid?!

Mom: (sniffs) Well, it smells like patchouli, so I’d say yeah.

___

EDITOR’S NOTE: My mom has moved no fewer than ten, yes TEN, times since the publication date of the aforementioned book. Including two trans-Atlantic moves. So if you ever wondered where I get my hoarding tendencies, well, there you go.

EDITOR’S SECOND NOTE: At least some of the felt sheets bear a Michael’s price tag, and I know my mom didn’t live anywhere near a Michael’s before 2003. So maybe she’s not as crazy as I think. Maybe.

EDITOR’S THIRD NOTE: Ms. Saucy Britches should expect a patchouli-scented package soon.

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Filed under family, life-threatening clutter, sewing

Estate Sailing

Get it? Sailing? Sale-ing? Yeah, okay. I’m hot and sticky and grimy and perhaps my humor isn’t its sharpest right now. But anyway.

You know, I really should have bought that pair of 2-tiered end tables I saw today. $20 for the set! They were cheapo jobbies, I mean they were no Heywood-Wakefield, but still, they had nice enough lines. And they were a pair! They wouldn’t fit in my car, though. I really need a station wagon if I’m going to keep doing this. Or that ’60 El Camino I saw for sale on the way home… yeah, because I need MORE car trouble. I don’t think an El Camino would even fit under my carport!

ANYway… I’m really writing to tell you about one particular kitchen that Erin and I saw on our buying expedition today. You know me, you know I love mid-century architecture and fittings. I previously wrote a post regarding a swoon-worthy pink kitchen about which I still think fondly. I love steel kitchen cabinets, but typically when I find them, they’ve been pieced out and now it’s one or possibly two base cabinets that are being used in the basement or garage, and they’re terribly abused. A few times, they’ve still had their original Boomerang (née Skylark) Formica tops! But today, we stumbled across an entire steel kitchen. Only the stove was for sale, an O’Keefe & Merrit 4-burner/griddle model for an unheard of $55. FIFTY-FIVE DOLLARS. I don’t know how well it works, but the pilot light was toasty-warm. And then there were the cabinets. Steel cabinets, uppers and lowers, even a lazy Susan corner unit (rounded door). What a find, right? Wrong. Oh how very, sadly, heart-breakingly wrong. Because someone, at some time in the past, perhaps under the influence of very heavy drugs, had brush-painted all of the cabinetry with flat brown house paint and then GLUED ROUGH-HEWN WOOD PLANKS to each and every door and drawer front. Even the built-in dishwasher, which must have been quite fancy indeed whenever it was installed. I’d have taken photos but it was too tragic.

From that estate: a skirt, a men’s shirt, a few blouses, a lovely cheongsam. More neckties. I seem to have necktie-finding mojo. I think I now have somewhere between 30 and 40 vintage neckties that aren’t yet photographed or listed in the shop. A very nice Style Craft fur felt fedora. Fur Felt Fedora, say it, it’s fun. Fun Fur Felt Fedora.

The next estate yielded more treasures, and the seller was more open to being flexible on the price. I picked up a couple of hats for you (assuming you are my customers and if you’re not, what could I find for you so that you are?) and a box of vintage swimwear which is what I’d been after in the first place. Also a rarely-found maternity dress and a gorgeous lilac-hued strapless gown dotted with violets. As a bonus, I found two Hostess bowls which I do not need, but I already had the red set and these are yellow! I realize that means I really don’t need them, as my kitchen is red and white, but the yellow is so cheery and now I have them in two of the four colors they came in and how else can I rationalize this? Only by finding the matching set of four 7-oz bowls that originally came with the larger bowl. And now I need the little bowls in red AND in yellow. ::headdesk::

I also scored two MCM light fixtures, one still in its original box, and I’ve no idea what to do with them. Or rather, I have at least three ideas: 1. install them somewhere in my house, 2. wait to install them in the MCM ranch I may one day own (HAhahahaha), or 3. sell them to someone who can use them now. Maybe I’ll sell the in-box fixture and keep the other for myself. Or, sigh, sell both.

But truly, the most interesting find of the day? A hand-held breast pump dating to approximately 1924, or at least that’s the date of the birth announcement tucked into the box. Also in the box: a lock of hair from Donny’s first haircut, at 9 months old. I looked up the name in the birth announcement and thanks to online genealogy stuff I know that he married in August of 1946 and he and his wife, Esther, had five children together.

Now I’ve been home for over two hours and I’ve washed twice and I still feel grimy so it’s time to just SHOWER and eat some dinner and try to organize these piles into something I can let you guys look at!

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Filed under collections, kitchen, life-threatening clutter, vintage

Remember the one about…

I have been going mad looking for my “fancy” headphones. I have assorted sets of earbuds in different sizes/colors/ability to remain in my ears, but my headphones are FANCY. Wherein fancy=expensive. They’re noise-canceling, they’re comfortable, and they cost a small fortune. They’ve also been missing for entirely too long.

Now look, I know that my house appears, to the untrained eye, to be a mess. In fact, there are some areas that actually are in utter disarray, but I, me, I know where most stuff is. So to have anything go missing drives me bonkers. BONK. ERS. I was in tears when I couldn’t find my many-year-collection of patches, and overjoyed when they eventually turned up in the “wrong” place (where, for the record, I would swear I had looked previously. Because I was looking in all sorts of odd places for those). My pinstriped belt buckle wasn’t where it was supposed to be, but it was in one of the first places I looked when I finally realized that it wasn’t going to magically reappear in its proper spot. But these headphones. Ach, these headphones! For months, I’ve been looking. Months and months and months. And months. I mentioned their loss on Twitter, in a passive-aggressive attempt to see if perhaps I’d lent them to a friend who would reply with, “Hey! I have those! I’ll get them right back to you.” No such luck. Their recharging doohickey sits by my desk, not far from where the headphones are supposed to live, taunting me. Almost daily, it sticks out its imaginary tongue at me, with a rousing “nyah nyah.” And so I will frequently go into a flurry of searching, oh hell where ARE they?!

It finally reached the point where, in a desperate attempt to locate them, I sent a text to my ex asking if perhaps, maybe, I’d left them at his house. Which is unlikely, because although I always brought them with me when flying out to see him (noise-canceling, remember?), I would most likely remember a flight home without them (I hate-hate-hate airplane noise and remember not having them with me on one entire trip and vowing to never forget them again). But lo! He replied that he did have them! He had just seen them! He would send them back! Oh, I was overjoyed!

Have you figured out by now that he doesn’t actually have them? He confused his own similar-but-not-the-same headphones with mine. Granted, it was a pair that I’d given him, so I can understand his confusion. What it all boils down to is: still no headphones. WHERE THE EFFING EFF ARE MY HEADPHONES?!

On a totally unrelated tangent, I’m packing some dresses to take with me to a friend’s house. We’re doing a little pre-Viva wardrobe check. Who has what can borrow when goes with which? I grab my garment bag from the way-back of the closet, pick out some dresses, and head out the door. As I’m putting the bag in the car, realize that the outside pockets are unzipped. I run a hand in each before zipping them shut, and THERE ARE MY HEADPHONES! They’ve apparently been “missing” since VLV13 (last April, to the uninitiated)! I HAVE THEM BACK!

And you know what? They’re still holding a charge.

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Filed under life-threatening clutter

Clothing Swap

In a three-pronged attack involving 1. Getting Out Of The House, 2. Meeting New People, and 3. Cleaning My Closets, I participated this weekend in a clothing swap. Outside of an informal “hmmm, I think this would look better on you” with my friends, I’d never done anything like this before. Lucky for me, the gals who organized it (mostly, I believe, members of LUPEC) do it every year, and had their proverbial act together.

Capelli Floral provided beautiful (and sizeable) studio space, clothing racks were wheeled out, tables were set up, and a system of organization (t-shirts here, slacks there, sportswear over on that table, etc.) was put into place. Organized, that is, until some latecomers—myself included—took over a second room all willy-nilly.

I arrived with my yard-debris tote filled to capacity, and the excess packed into my Ginormous Suitcase. If you’ve traveled with me to Viva, you know the hideous orange one to which I am referring. And lo, it was full as well! Didn’t I just donate three trash bags full of clothing and handbags to VVA a few weeks ago? And a box full of dresses and shoes to Adams 12 School District in April? My closets apparently open into Narnia.

Knowing that any “leftovers” would be packed back up and donated to local charities, I planned to head home empty-handed. Well no, I’m no fool. But I planned to head home with a small fraction of what I’d arrived with, and at that, I succeeded. It turns out that one gal and I have similar taste in clothes, and are similarly sized, so we both wound up with a bag of each other’s things.

The photos throughout this post are of my “loot,” some of which is vintage. Not shown is one squee-worthy vintage black party dress, omitted only because I immediately put it in my Fancy Dress closet and forgot to fetch it when I was taking photos. So, um, I need a party to attend. Anyone? Anyone?

I succeeded in emptying out a chunk of space in my closet, got some new-to-me wonderful things, others picked out new-to-them goodies, and three local charities (Goodwill, SafeHouse, and Father Woody) got boxes full of the leftovers. I’d call that a win-win-win-win situation.

Many thanks to Michelle and Andee for including me in the fun!

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Filed under fashion, life-threatening clutter, vintage