Category Archives: food

I like meat. I like to cook meat, I like to eat meat. Mmmmm, meat. Cattle, poultry, pork, seafood, game… I have no idea what category rattlesnake would fall into, but yeah, I’ve eaten it. I’ve also had vegetarian and/or vegan friends since I entered college, and while I do offer to forgo meat in their presence, they have all been open to my eating meat in front of them. THANK YOU. Meat meat meat meat meat.

If we’re not supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of MEAT?

In November, Erin decided to lessen her eco-footprint on the planet, and go vegetarian again. I respect that. Couldn’t do it myself, heck no, but I applaud her dedication. Except, oops, her husband was in the middle of a bacon kick. And giving her the teensiest bit of flak about her decision to do this. Just a little teasing, but Erin is sensitive. Okay, tell you what. To balance out the universe, I won’t eat meat when we eat together. Okay? I’m not really sure what balance that actually provides, but what the heck. Solidarity!

You know, come to think of it, I don’t eat THAT much meat. I mean, I love it, yeah, but I don’t COOK it that often. Too distracted to remember to thaw anything out, I have a lot of vegetarian dinners anyway. And this whole eco-footprint thing is something I can totally get behind. I recycle, carpool, use CFL bulbs, rechargeable batteries, a programmable thermostat, I buy wind power from my utility… and have you ever SEEN a feedlot? Appalling. Hmmm… Okay. Addendum to plan. I’m only going to eat meat on the weekends. Unless I’m eating with Erin. Then life is still a meat-free zone.

I’m not sure how it happened, but I have nearly stopped eating meat entirely*. It wasn’t a conscious decision, but more like the whole choose-veggie thing became a habit. I have unintentionally lost weight, which is not a bad thing. And in all honesty, my body seems to be working better. Don’t get me wrong, I am very much of the belief that humans are biologically suited to be omnivores. However, I also think that Americans eat WAY too much meat.

Now, the flip side of this coin is that I still have a freezer full of meat. Steaks. Pork chops. Chicken sausages. Bockwurst. Bacon. Heck, everything in my freezer is either Girl Scout cookies or meat. I could be a good person and donate all that meat to friends… but did I mention that I REALLY ENJOY MEAT? I can’t bear to let it go. And, you know, I never did claim to be a vegetarian… So here’s the deal. Weekends are going to be meat-acceptable again. Every weekend, I need to remember to thaw something out and eat it. Saturday: faux lobster (in my vernacular, flobster) chunks. With steamed broccoli. And it was quite tasty. But no matter how good those Costco pork chops are (and they are very, very good), I am not BUYING any more meat. For now. Heck, it’s gonna take me ages to get through what’s already in the freezer. By the time it’s gone, I’ll have a better handle on where I’m going with this.

*I went to a steakhouse with Scott on Friday, and had a STEAK. I ordered the smallest sirloin on the menu, ate half, and let Scott take home the leftovers. MY GOD IT WAS GOOD.

$5 gift card to the first person who knows what that title is a reference to. And gives me their address.

My adopted twin brother has really outdone himself. He and his wife sent me a box of goodies, the thoughtfulness of which actually made me mist up. I realize that a sappy Folgers ad can also make me mist up, but that doesn’t make the feeling any less genuine. Thanks, kids!

Key Lime Pie number 3,742 (okay, #6) was created tonight, and I altered a few things all at once. For one thing, I adjusted the ingredients. Duh, I’ve been doing that all along. But this time, and here is the part Jennifer has been waiting for, I whipped the filling. Oooh, yeah. Sticks and stone may break my bones, but whisks kind of excite me. And you know, that whipping made for a beautiful filling. Thick, and with visibly more volume than my previous pies. So I figured, why not? Why not try to bake it for a mere 6–8 minutes as that one crazy recipe suggested? 8 minutes, or until a metal skewer inserted in the center pulls out clean and hot?

8 minutes: wet and cool
16 minutes: wet and cool
24 minutes: wet and less cool… um, it’s rising
32 minutes: risen to the point of cracking, I pull out the pie without bothering to skewer it.

I set it aside to cool while I make the meringue. And then have great trouble spreading meringue onto the bloated, soufflé-like pie filling which still hasn’t fallen. Turn up the heat, brown the meringue, and pop the pie in the fridge to chill. I’ll have myself a slice for breakfast, before transferring custody over to Scott.

Unrelated note: I got to see the kids over at MythBusters use a Minigun (Dillon, if you’re a gun buff but not following the link) on two different episodes tonight, and even though guns make me a little uncomfortable… this thing is HOT. No pun intended. I really, really wanna handle one of these things. Very safely, and far away from any living things. But even aimed at a dead tree, this thing is amazing. Loaded with incendiary ammo and aimed at a propane tank, even more so. Yum.

Almost there! The meringue, whipped once again by eye, is back to the proper fluffiness. Turning up the heat gave me lovely browned peaks. I added a bit more lime juice to the filling, which is starting to give me the tart shock I’m looking for, but I’m losing the consistency again. This, however, might be due to my trying to bake the pie for a ridiculous 8 minutes, as instructed in an “authentic” recipe that falsely promised me cheek-sucking tartness. Next pie: even more lime juice, more ferocious beating of the filling, and back to a longer bake time.

I am stunned that Scott isn’t sick of Key lime pie yet.

In other news, after four years of walking into my kitchen and thinking, “Hmmm, I should really switch out the handles on all of these cabinets,” I have actually done exactly that. In an ideal world, I would have switched out the cabinets themselves, but listen, it took me FOUR YEARS to agree to spend the $60 it cost me to buy 30 new (and yes, very cheap) handles. I am not prone to spending money on stuff. Even my shoes are inexpensive. Anyway, whereas the old handles were sturdy, antiqued brass in a sort of geese-in-bonnets “country” style (coughBARFcough), the new handles are a sleek, classically minimal shape done in brushed nickel. Muuuuuch better. Hello, Kitchen! Wow, you look great… did you do something different? Is that a new haircut?