For My Next Trick…

I’m combing my hair, right? And then I set the comb down on my rad, vintage, circle-wire vanity shelf. Which already has a (larger) comb and a bunch of barrettes on it, so the (smaller) comb slides off the top of the pile. I see it fall down, hit the carpet, and bounce under the vanity. So I bend down to pick it up…

and it’s NOT THERE.

Well, of course it has to be there. I check right up against the baseboard…nope. I lift up the area rug…nope.  I check right up against the baseboard again. I shake out the area rug. WTF? The floor in this vanity space is about 3 ft by 4 ft, if that. Not exactly enormous. I am perplexed. I mean, seriously perplexed. This isn’t some hypothetical problem I’m having trouble with, this is a PHYSICAL OBJECT  that I WATCHED fall to the floor. What in the freaking hell is going on? I spend the next 4–5 minutes fruitlessly searching the same 12-sq-ft area, because I don’t know what else to do. I’m pretty sure there isn’t a physical anomaly in my house, so IT HAS TO BE THERE. I am now down on my hands and knees with my head on the floor when I discover, after nearly 9 years of living in this condo, that the baseboard does not actually meet the vanity cabinet. There’s a 1″ high gap above the baseboard, and below the vanity, that the comb must have bounced into. I think about sticking my hand in there to feel around for it, then remember the photo that was posted to Instagram last night of the dessicated rat that someone discovered while demo’ing their kitchen cabinets, and decide against it.

It’s okay, I have another comb.



Filed under life-threatening clutter

3 responses to “For My Next Trick…

  1. I had the same realization once while washing the kitchen floor at my parents. I am terrified to find out what has managed to get under the cabinets and has lived behind the bottom kickplate for all these years… ugh… right now it seems it’s just kitty hair and spiderwebs, but just gross! You’d think they’d build cabinets with closed up bottoms, but I guess it’s just easier to put a baseboard along the bottom and call it a day…

    • Adri, I have to admit that if it had been my silly ol’ Exxon comb (originally found inside one of the vintage purses in my inventory), I’d risk touching who-knows-what-lurks in order to retrieve it.


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