Monthly Archives: March 2008

Two Minutes to Midnight*

Work is busy, life is busy, I’m shipping things I’ve sold on eBay faster than I’m posting new items, I have another order for customized ID tags to fulfill, and a rush freelance job (small, but hurried) that unexpectedly cropped up this afternoon.

Become chicken, remove head, commence with running.

*Anyone? Anyone?

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the halter top: results

Yeah, um, no. It started out pretty well:

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That’s it, trimmed out, pleated, and pinned into place. Not bad, for guessing! I attached a waistband (twice; I realized after the first attempt that I had unintentionally denied the laws of physics), but gave up before ever sewing on the pearl buttons. It just wasn’t draping properly, and it wasn’t going to. Alison took the carcass to make into a purse.

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I thought this would be a beautiful wedding ring

And I do very much love the sheer passion behind it. But truth be told, I’m too much of a hopeless romantic, and I want to grow old with someone… and I want to wear one ring for the duration. I’m not sure I want to be 80 and wearing a ring that reads “FUCKING BEAUTIFUL.” Or maybe that is fucking beautiful.

$295, exclusively from Kiki de Montparnasse. Click on the photo for details.

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Comcrapstic

This is where I rant about how much Comcast SUCKS and how spotty, sporadic, and sloooooowwwww my cable modem connection is. And how, when I complain to Comcast about it, they tell me that the problem can’t possibly be them. Even though all my neighbors have the same issues. Nope, it must be that all of us, with all of our different setups, the only common denominator being Comcast, yeah, ALL OF US have the SAME glitch in our network setups.

Bitchbitchbitch.

And so that ends this post, because it may take an hour for it to upload!

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Marge’s Meme Monday (Make-Up)

Ugh, could that last post have sounded any more whiney? Yes, I am very bummed that half of my circle of friends are moving far, far away. I am simultaneously sad and jealous. Someone get me a straw!

To make it up, I’m likely to be late for work for doing this, but here’s an abbreviated response to Marge’s current Meme Challenge:
TOPIC: Product Testimonials – In each of the following places, what is your most-beloved item or product? Why should I have one too?
Kitchen
Bathroom
Bedroom
Laundry Room
Car
Desk/Office
Garage / Yard

Kitchen: I love my kitchen. I adore all of my appliances, both ubiquitous and bizarre. If I have to narrow it down to one, I’ll choose my KitchenAid Ultra Power stand mixer. I don’t have any attachments for it, but just knowing that I could grind meat and stuff sausage with my mixer only adds to its charms. Which include POWER. Straight up, mixing power. To add to this mixer’s importance in my life, though, is the fact that it was a very generous gift from the personal kitchen collection of a friend of mine who is a famously good cook. (And yet another friend who moved to California, the bum.) Every time I look at Root’s Mixer, I’m reminded of a time in my life that was full of food and friends and a lot of wine. (I’m currently in the clothing-and-friends-and-whiskey stage of my life.)

Bathroom: This is much less romantic, but no bathroom of mine will ever be complete without a Zip-It drain clog remover. I bought my condo from a woman with pets, lots of pets, and she apparently washed them in the tub. I tried two different snakes and an assortment of biodegradeable and evil chemicals on that slow drain until I got a Zip-It doohickey, and have never had to deal with standing water again. (insert choir of angels) Handy hint: the package says to dispose of the Zip-It strip when done. Why? Clean it off, and save it for next time.

Bedroom: Um… all the usual stuff here. Nothing outstanding. (chuckles… ain’t THAT the truth!)

Laundry Room: I spend as little time in it as possible. It’s dark and cobwebby and cold, and I’d like it to be bright and shiny and clean. Like my laundry! Um, I use “eco” detergent and fabric softener. Save the Earth, yo.

Car: Standard transmission, Baby. Keep them automatics away from me. When I drive, I’m driving. I don’t need no stinkin’ car telling me what to do. Well, except for the special little dashboard light that my car illuminates when I’m due for an oil change. That’s handy. And something I should have taken care of this weekend.

Desk/Office: HAhahaha! My desk is in a state of chaos! I’d recommend a maid. :)

Garage/Yard: I couldn’t live without my grill, but I might take a step towards a composter here. I don’t have much of a garden, but a composter doesn’t make THAT much dirt anyway. Mine is the pyramid model from Gardener’s Supply Company. I put in kitchen scraps and leaves from the yard, and I get enough dirt to amend my little flower bed in the springtime. Yay, nature!

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OMGWTFBBQ

My wheels are spinning… there’s lots of buzzing in my head, but somehow nothing is coming of it. Nothing worth blogging about. I don’t want to leave you with nothing, so…

This July, Erin and Tim are moving… to Oklahoma. Just about the same time that Dave and Jessi are moving to Chicago. While I appreciate that these are good moves for the folks directly involved, I’d like to have a very small pity party for me, starting… now. Man, I thought my 36th birthday was harsh, but 37 is shaping up to be sucktastic.

I have a ridiculous number of shoes, and yet I still can’t seem to match anything to the dresses that I’d like to wear to Viva. I’ve so far ruled out four pairs purchased specifically for Viva as unVivable for various reasons. One pair is on eBay right now, and it will likely be joined by at least one other pair. A third pair, I actually wore to work so I won’t sell those. The fourth pair, I’ll return to the seller.

Megan and Joe are convinced that they’ve found my future husband. Well, to be fair, Joe is convinced. Megan is a bit wary, but not nearly as wary as I am. You see, neither Megan nor Joe have actually met this fellow. He’s a friend of a freelancer working with Joe, and he’s basing his proposal of marriage on the fact that he heard that I dressed as HellVetica for Halloween one year. Myself? I’m not sure that a mutual affection for typography is enough to base a relationship on. In fact, I don’t think I wanna be with someone in the same field as I am. I’m self conscious enough about the quality of my work; I don’t need someone close to me being better than I am. Besides, I like to explain what I do. And, at the same time, appear to be a magician. :) Anyway, they’re very excited at the prospect of pairing me off with someone. Anyone. I know, they just want to see me happy. Blah blah blah.

I was going to respond to Marge’s current Meme Challenge today, but I’m tired. As I write this, it’s snowy and icy outside, and I really want to curl up in a warm bed and try to turn my mind off for a while.

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A Way With Words

I often express my love for my friends in food, rather than words. (Scott’s Key lime pies come to mind. I’ve not given up on that project, but I think Scott is a little pie-d out. I’ll pick up again after Viva.) A couple of times a year, I prepare feasties for my nearest and dearest. Everything is made with care and thought and love. More on THAT subject in the coming weeks, as I prepare the annual Feaster Dinner. But…

I was thinking about all this tonight as I was looking through my eBay listings, and mentally trying to describe, in words, just how much I love this vintage dress:

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I love it like a perfect yellow cupcake with not-too-sweet, fluffy pink strawberry frosting. And maybe there are some little bits of strawberry in the cake itself, but not so much that it’s soggy. It is a PERFECT dress and a flattering cut… every single detail about it is darling, from the heart-shaped buttons to the rickrack trim to the zigzag waistline to the AMAZINGLY full skirt that a small child could get lost in for days. Even if I lost 15(!) pounds, which would officially put me at thin, I do not have the frame to fit into it. I am a Big Girl. I will never have a 24-inch waist. (Well, okay, if I lost a few pounds and got into some corset training. But that caveat is just to ward off the comments that would otherwise crop up below.) The listing has less than 24 hours to go as I write this, and there are no bids. I assume that it will be sniped in the final moments, but right now, I actually FEEL BAD FOR THE DRESS. Yes, I love the dress so much that I have anthropomorphized it, and assigned it human emotions. And right now, this dress feels like a wallflower when really, she’s prettier than a prom queen.

Now that I’m thinking about cupcakes… if you’re in the Denver area, please stop by the new Lovely Confections bakery, at Colfax and Steele, where the cupcakes are made with local and organic ingredients, and the owner makes the best not-too-sweet frosting I’ve had in YEARS. Full disclosure: the owner is a friend-of-a-friend. But that does not sway my opinion of her frosting, nor does it have anything to do with how she scored a full segment on the local CBS affiliate news program tonight.

____________

My regular readers know how long-winded my posts are, so when I tell you that a friend of mine left me speechless on Thursday; not only because I didn’t know what to say, but also because there was just no way I could say anything as eloquently as he’d just done… well, that carries some weight. I know that every word was meant with complete sincerity, likewise, I know he’s wrong about some points. But he pointed out that I’d say that. He can read me like a book. A really complicated book.

I laughed, I cried, I will read it again and again. It was better than Cats.

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