Category Archives: shopping

January 1, 2008 · 10:39 pm

Shopping With Scott

My friend Scott needs new clothes. Diet, exercise, and pining for a distant girl have left him a few pounds lighter and leaner, and his current wardrobe just doesn’t fit as well any more. So today, we went to the mall.

Dedicated readers of my blog may recall that the last time I kept Scott company on a shopping trip, he bought a bookshelf and I bought a fekking sofa. With that in mind, I told myself that this time there would be NO PEEKING at the women’s wear.

Ladies, did you know that men’s pajama bottoms have pockets? I loves me some pockets! I gleefully (yes, pockets really bring me glee) pointed them out to Scott, who replied, “That’s because men wear more practical clothes.” Which I can’t argue with as a whole, but when, exactly, is a pocket practical while sleeping? Do you put your keys in there? Your wallet? Maybe your favorite Thurman Munson baseball card? I think not.

Final tally: Scott bought a grand total of two pairs of jeans and three very cool pearl-snap shirts (and nearly a cashier’s phone number) while I wound up with a thermal, two Ts, and a pair of pinup-girl-in-a-martini-glass pajama bottoms (with pockets); all from the men’s department.

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December 14, 2007 · 2:29 pm

being a critical bitch

Shhh. Be very quiet. There’s another woman in the client lounge with me, I assume also here for a press check. She weighs about 100 pounds, is wearing skinny-jeans tucked into just-below-the-knee, high-heeled, brown leather boots, a perfectly fitted white turtleneck sweater, and she has flawless hair. She has spread her belongings out on a nearby table, and is surrounded by, among other things, a MacBook Pro, an iPhone, her VW key fob, and some Clinique cosmetics. She is her own walking, talking, marketing cliche. It’s as if she is trying to single-handedly represent her demographic. Since I myself am somewhat clumsy and coarse, I find her Elle Finishing School look very amusing. Also, she has mouse-clicked her way across the world and back without ever touching her keyboard. I think a few of my readers will understand why I find that exasperating.

(I would have properly written “cliche” with the correct accent mark if I had any idea how to do it in Windows)

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December 9, 2007 · 11:11 pm

another amazing Christmas gift

While the following still falls into the “craptastic” category of my two previous Lame Gift picks (see Deer Rider and Mangroomer posts), I have to admit… if I had a trailer hitch, I would so have one of these on it. I gleefully bring you Hitch Critters:

Also available in Bass, Duck, Bad Dog, Horse, Black Widow and Wild Hog (riding a Harley). There are a number of vendors selling these items, but CoolStuffExpress was the only one with an image caption that reads “Surrenders quicker than the French army.” Also, the appropriately placed “Ouch!” with arrow pointing to the, uh, ball hitch attachment area.

Damn, I wish I had a truck.

Santa Claus has got a hot rod sleigh

Yesterday, December 1st, was the official start of the annual Christmas-season self-buying moratorium. This means that neither I nor my friends are allowed to buy any non-essential items for personal use until after Christmas presents have been exchanged. For those of my more recent friend acquisitions, oh yeah, I’m serious. Sure, go ahead and buy yourself that pretty little whatever you’ve been eyeing… but know that someone may have picked that same item out for you for Christmas, and you have now SUCKED ALL JOY out of the “giving” part of a gift exchange.

This means that I am, sadly, forgoing a DSW boot-shopping excursion during a DOUBLE POINTS promotion. Hey, rules are rules.

But I had to make one small (1:24) exception. I was at the local hobby/craft store, spending too much money on party décor and crafty stuff, when what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature ‘rod that could smoke eight tiny reindeer. I honestly planned to leave it on the shelf until after Christmas, but then I noticed the price tag. All of the other models in this line were priced between $20 and $23, but this one, just this one box, was marked $13. That sure sounds like a “sign” to me. Now that I have gotten it home and seen the bag of parts in the box, it would appear that my idea and their idea of “minimal” gluing seem to differ. 46 assembly steps. Which doesn’t count me altering the girl on the door decals to be more “classic pinup” and less “cheap whore.” But I look forward to putting it together… eventually. Maybe after the holidays. Because I got very little accomplished this weekend (um, by the way, my local municipal recycling center CLOSED for long-term construction so I’m driving around with tubs of single-stream commingled in the trunk of the car until the rattling reminds me to go to one of the OTHER recycling centers). I’ll need to play Advanced Organizational Skills this week because I am theoretically leaving on Sunday or Monday to head to Milwaukee for work (missing Amy’s birthday AGAIN), and that is going to seriously eat away at my holiday-prep time. Erin’s cocktail party is the very night that I’m scheduled to return, so all shopping/wrapping for that social circle needs to be done before I leave. I will be in no condition to operate anything as sharp as a Scotch tape dispenser when I return.

Hello, good Citizens

Neilochka has posted his First Annual Blogger Holiday Arts and Crafts Fair, and it is an honor to be among (amongst?) so many talented artisans and writers! Really, boys and girls, I’m so pleased to see everybody’s work in one, easy-to-shop location. Etsy is great (heck, it’s where I sell my own wares), but it can be overwhelming.

We now return to our regular programming:

I switched over to flannel sheets last night, and it felt soooooo good. I should have done this a week ago. The only downside is that my new white flannel sheets make my “old” white duvet cover and shams look dingy. Perhaps it’s time to bring out the OxyClean.

We’re having a Sample Sale at the office today, so I must be sure to get to work on time so that I can actually get some work DONE before I join the chaos.

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Boldog születésnapot, Tomi. As always, I miss you.